I pondered your letter for some time and decided that it is not something I wish to publish on my blog. It’s plastered all over the internet and in my opinion, you have more than milked your 15 minutes of fame. It’s our turn now.
I am sorry.
I am sorry that you feel the need to punish a mother who does her very best to house, clothe, feed and nurture her autistic child. I am sorry that you cannot understand the difference between noise pollution and the happy wails of excitement from a child who cannot communicate his feelings any other way. Having said that, I am really not surprised that you would rather hear a crying baby or incessant barking, as sadists such as yourself tend to relish in others’ pain.
I am sorry for your lack of compassion towards another human being. It is obvious that it has never occurred to you to ask if this child’s mother needed help of any kind. If you had taken one minute out of your precious life and put off a mani/pedi, you would have had the opportunity to educate yourself on just what needs this special child requires on a daily basis. You would have been witness to a strong-willed mother who is physically unable to take her child to the park because of her own debilitating illness. You would have also come to realize that special treatment for special needs comes with a price.
Respite is costly and if you are lucky enough to get on a waiting list for subsidized or free care, it could be months before something is available. You could argue that at the very least, she has friends who could help. I would argue that friends are a luxury that special needs parents would love to have but sadly, ignorant people like you keep perpetuating the stereotype that we are lowlife trash who should rid ourselves of our problem child(ren) and join the rest of the “normal” world.
Is it lonely up there on your high horse? Clearly you have no compassion for the human race unless they meet your fantastical expectations of reality. You liken a ‘different’ child to that of an animal; if they are broken, put them out of their misery. I could say that you have at least a modicum of compassion for animals. However, there is no reason to expect you to care for either as your indifference to an animal’s suffering (ie: barking incessantly), and a baby’s cry seem to please you.
I am sorry that your children have to live with your small-mindedness and grow up knowing that their mother, in her pursuit of perfection, clearly missed the mark. It pains me to know that what they have learned thus far is bigotry, cowardliness and conditional love. You should be ashamed of yourself but I know that in your perfect little world, shame is not something you have learned or taught.
I am not angry with you. In fact, I thank you for speaking up because in doing so, you have inadvertently educated the world on autism and other special needs. You have opened the eyes of your community and brought them closer together. Your disgusting and hateful efforts have done more for this child and his mother than she could ever have done on her own. Your despicable behaviour has spread awareness of special needs and how important proper care is for struggling families.
I am not angry with you. I pity you and I mourn the fact that you will never see the world through the eyes of an autistic or other special needs child. You will never know the simple joy in their eyes as they accomplish something they have worked on for months or longer, the day they actually make eye contact and you know, without a doubt, that they love you unconditionally, without them saying a word.
You will never envy your child for waking up every morning with a clean slate; that no matter what bigots like you have done to them the day before, it is all forgiven. It’s a brand new day with brand new opportunities for loving life.
I choose this opportunity to learn from my own autistic child…
This forgiveness is not about you. It is about me. It’s my turn to be selfish and let go of the negativity because if people like you actually get the upper hand, you win. Hate consumes and takes you only so far before you get lost in its bleakness. You see, it takes true courage to fight for what you believe in and fight for your children. We have plenty and it will take us so much further than your small mind can comprehend.
You have lost this battle and though the war is just beginning, I have no doubt that you and your like-minded family of twits will lose.
Lastly, I am sorry that as long as the hatred consumes you, you will never be privilege to the strong, brave and beautiful families of whom you despise so much without ever having met them.