My how things can change in a couple of short months. Cayden decided to move out at the beginning of June and now…
The short version is that he is staying. The long version is long lol
Since my lovely little rant here , Cayden has done a lot of growing. We tried a few things to get him to think for himself. We tried to sit down and talk to him about everything; the budget, the insurance, his behaviour and attitude about life in general. He’s changed and I’m not sure who gets to take the credit for it. Honestly, I’ll take it no matter what!
Sometime after the first week of June, Cayden decided that he liked his job. A LOT. This probably had much to do with his supervisor/mentor at work who taught him everything in a nutshell about working in a meat department. Cayden got really excited about the job and every day he came home raving about what “Gene” had taught him and how much he enjoys the job.
After he spilled the news to us, we noticed a big change. His integrity began to show. You’ve probably seen me post a couple of things here and there on his offer to take Jacob out and helping Andrew with buying a couple of things.
I decided to make up a contract of sorts to let Cayden know where we stood and that it was wide open for negotiations. That didn’t go over very well. You see, Cayden is very much a control freak like his mother and even though I was open for discussion, Cayden had to feel like he was in control of his own finances. Charging him a certain amount of money each month really ripped a hole in his heart. He was angry that he didn’t have a choice. The truth was, he did have a choice; Shape up or ship out. We needed to sit down and work things out before we never spoke to each other again.
He and I had a talk. I’ve been so tired of him telling me that he can never talk to his Dad about anything. I told him that Charles has been itching to talk but he’s giving off the vibe that he doesn’t want anything to do with his Dad. Apparently it wasn’t true and came as a shock to Cayden. It’s amazing what you learn when you listen.
We discussed his feelings about us “demanding” money from him and he wanted to talk to us about how he could contribute. He then sat down with his Dad and asked how he could help. Well, the first thing was the utilities. We were going to get hit really hard with an electric bill over the summer due to the A/C being on all the time. He wanted to help and agreed to pay half of the bill, no matter how high or how low it was. We could count on that money. His cell phone which used to be mine, decided to break so Charles took him down to the store. He caught a break and ended up trading in the phone and getting a brand new phone free. The agreement was that he would pay his portion of the cell bill every month.
The more he talked to Charles, the more comfortable the two of them got with each other. Cayden agreed to buy his own groceries because he has odd working hours and really doesn’t like heating up leftovers. Why not? He’s a kid LOL Ewww it doesn’t taste the same…LOL That was fine by me. More for us! It gave me room to make a menu for the 4 of us and budget accordingly.
In turn, we gave Cayden Jacob’s old bedroom which is basically the other half to the Jack & Jill suite upstairs. Now, he has one room for his bed and he’s setting the other side up as a sitting room. The bathroom is all his so he doesn’t have to worry about Jacob barging in or bothering him since Jacob is downstairs now. He has a fridge in his room and full use of the kitchen downstairs whenever he needs it. It’s like an apartment up there and I’m fairly certain that he is happy with the arrangement.
Since then, Cayden has been extremely generous and much more open about his job and his feelings especially. He’s bought a few things for us in the way of groceries to get us through to the next pay and he has splurged every Monday for pizza at Little Caesars. I never thought I would get sick of pizza…LOL
I am once again seeing that beautiful boy shine through. I like what I see. He has a plan for his future. He realizes that staying home for now is not a bad thing and all it takes is sitting down with us to talk about anything he needs. We can work it out!