This is a total whiny post with some language so don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Yesterday, my husband in his infinite wisdom, decided to clean out our koi pond by himself. He filled a very large trash bin with dirt and rubbish and then tried to lift it to bring to the curb. In the process, he wrenched his back and was diagnosed this morning with a lumbar strain. I think I got about 2 hours of sleep last night through fits of anxiety and frustration.
My husband…Love him to death but he is accident prone. I was warned about this before we got married and things really weren’t all that bad for 20 years but he sure made up for lost time over the past 5 years! It started with a nasty car accident that forced him to have an operation in his neck where a cage was placed around his spine. Since then, he’s broken his hand twice, broken his ankle in two places and subsequently had two pins placed in said ankle. Yesterday proved too much for me to handle and I couldn’t even talk to him without getting angry.
I am married to a klutz. I thought I was bad with smashing my toes in the dark (I’m blind as a bat at night, even with nightlights lol) and dropping heavy jars on my feet. Yes, I have something against my feet. Chalk it up to hating the fact that they are size 11 and I am barely 5’4″ tall. Flippers, anyone? Try as I might, I have not been able to minimalize their existence. On top of that, Jacob has been a daredevil his entire life and though he’s never broken bones, he’s done things that have put him in the hospital more than once over his lifetime. But, I digress.
My klutzy husband is pissing me off and though I try to sympathize, I am not doing a very good job. I confess that when he sneezed a few moments ago and yelled out in pain, I smiled a little inside. I am totally at my wits end! The past week has been stressful enough with Andrew and Jacob fighting over every stupid little look and sound. My patience has been growing thin and Charles’ accident was the icing on the cake wreck. All I could see in front of me was having to do everything by myself and I was in no mood to deal with any of it. What’s my darling hubby’s idea of consolation? “Honey, just rub my back and tell me everything will be okay.”
Excuse me???? (This is where I lose it inside my head) Where the hell does he get off doing something stupid and expecting me to console him? Who the hell does he think I am? Wonder Frakking Woman who can clean, launder, cook and cater in a single bound? If I had the money, I’d be hoofing it to a hotel!
I tried to post this in the wee hours of the morning, you know…when my anxiety, frustration and anger were at their peak but the website wouldn’t cooperate. Maybe I was meant to calm down a little before unleashing my fury on the world wide web but that just serves to piss me off even more. How dare the internet get in my way?! Dammit!
I have NO CLUE how the hell to upload pictures from my camera. What’s a blog without pictures? Especially ones depicting just how frakking tired I am so y’all can see that I’m trying to learn this crap. Unfortunately, my brain turns to mush when it’s subjected to tech jargon. Cayden is pretty tech savvy but he’s a teenaged boy who thinks he walks on water and why the hell should he be bothered with helping his brain dead mother with her silly little blog?
My husband? He works with computers for a living and I can beg and plead for help but he forgets. I figure that I need some shock value somewhere in here and if I owned a sexy negligee, I’d put it on but alas, I am fat and feel anything but sexy. On the other hand, I’d probably get his attention if I dressed in anything other than yoga pants and a t-shirt but on the other, other hand…As I said, he’s a klutz and I’d be more likely to shock him into a stroke or heart attack given his track record.
By now you’re probably thinking…Is this broad done her crab fest yet? I think so. For now. Give me a moment or two and I’m sure that I’ll come up with something else to bitch about.
Will my husband learn from his mistake? Unlikely. Yes, it’s a sad reality. He’s a frakking genius but his common sense gene has been totally obliterated when it comes to personal safety. And I wonder where Jacob gets it from…
Screw the cheese! Where’s the tequila??
I totally need something stronger than Calgon to take me away!
My husband made a wisecrack the other day about me playing internet games all day. So I got to thinking. Do I really spend enough time on the internet to warrant such a remark? Am I an internet junkie? In a word…Absolutely. I do not deny my addiction to the world wide web and let me tell you why.
I don’t have a lot of friends outside of the internet. It’s a lot to ask someone to befriend a mom who has special needs children. My son Jacob goes with me most places because there is no one else to care for him. He needs 24 hour supervision and can be quite the handful at the best of times. When my husband is home from work, I like to be with him so I hardly go out when he is home. Every so often, my youngest son Cayden, will babysit Jacob so that his Dad and I can get some time away.
I am a full time Stay at Home Mom. I really do prefer it but an outlet is needed. This is where the internet comes in. People ask me all the time how I do it. How do I take care of Jacob full time and deal with all of the challenges that come with raising special needs children? Since it is difficult to get out anywhere, due to time, Jacob or money, I rely on the internet to keep me attached to some semblance of reality in the outside world.
Jacob takes up most of my day. He starts talking the second he opens his eyes in the morning and in his own way, demands attention most of the day. He hates to be alone so if I am sleeping, he will wake me in the morning. Sometimes, I’ll have a nap on the couch while he watches TV or plays with his Lego’s. As long as I am in the vicinity, he’s good. Over the years, I’ve managed to steal some time on the computer as long as he’s busy. Our computer is located down the hall from the Family Room so he doesn’t have a view of me. It’s better when I announce where I am going since he tends to relax more knowing where I am at all times. I do most things that allow me to be near him, like laundry, cleaning and sewing.
That being said, I frequent three sites. Pinterest, Facebook and Yahoo Games. Facebook is how I keep in touch with my family since 99% of them live outside the country. My posts keep them updated on what’s happening here and I dare say, we’ve communicated much more with Facebook than before we had access to it. Pinterest is a place to dream of all the things I wish for but also a place to learn how to live with what I have. There is a plethora of information to be had on Pinterest and it really does help me in my daily life whether it’s finding activities to keep Jacob busy or learning a new recipe and games are a great outlet for stress. I have 3 games that I play most often and since I do not pay to play, my time is limited. It’s a nice break from reality and I get to concentrate on something completely unrelated to my reality. The other precious moments are tied to taking surveys and clicking emails to make a little money.
My sanity is important to me and the internet helps keep me sane so yes, I am an internet junkie. I am addicted to having an outlet for my stress, humour and life, such as it is. Do I play all day? Hardly, but if you look at my Facebook posts and notifications, you’ll think I spend all day on the internet. In truth, it’s just those precious few moments I get to myself during the day and the internet is where I choose to spend them, at least until I get a better offer.